The lies we tell ourselves

There has been a lot of Be Kind talk recently, following the loss of Caroline Flack (even though the sentiment was shorter lived than the hashtag) and a lot of it’s OK to not be OK posts.

Most of this sentiment is focussed on us being nicer to others, more understanding, helping others see it’s OK to not be OK.

But we (I am generalising and projecting my own feelings here) don’t apply the same standards to ourselves.

I’ll give two examples that are relevant to me.

A lot has happened in our lives this year so far. My mum and my partner have both been ill and suffered spells in hospital. I have started a new job which hasn’t gone as I expected. Life has been a struggle. It’s ongoing.

When I am asked how I am I say I’m good. All is ok. If asked again (some friends know to press and ask twice for a more meaningful answer) I say it’s hard, but it will get better and we will get through it.

The reality is that many times I have struggled to actually believe it will improve. I’ve been using the ‘it will get better’ mantra for a long time now. The truth is that it does improve. But it always takes a toll.

Another example is that I have been piling on weight. A few years ago I decided I was very unhealthy and had put on too much weight. I did something about it. I lost a lot of weight. I vowed it would never happen again.

It is. I am now very close to the same weight I was when I decided enough was enough. It was a hard battle to lose it. One I know I need to do again.

But I’ve been lying to myself. Clothes sizes are changing. I’m not as big. I can lose some. I’ll cut out snacks. I’ll eat better. I’ll run more.

All of these statements include a from next week/month caveat. Many weeks and months have passed I am still fat and I am still overeating and drinking too much. Too many treats not enough effort to earn them.

So now is the time to change.

Change my attitude. Change my lifestyle. But more importantly change the narrative.

Positive statements and actions. Be more honest, with myself and with others.

Time to apply Be Kind and It’s OK to not be OK to myself. Practice what I preach.

Will it be easy?
No
Can I achieve?
Yes of course. I have before. I will again.

Last time I was honest. I blogged my experience. The highs and the lows. I hid nothing. I put in place some accountability.

That now returns. I took a day off work on Friday this week. I walked a lot, alone and with friends, I took the time to think. Self-care and self awareness.

Decisions have been made and changes will follow.

Are you being honest with yourself and those who care?
If not, find the time to change that and make it happen. Love yourself.

One thought on “The lies we tell ourselves

  1. Andrew March 7, 2020 / 4:44 pm

    I like this. I’m currently on noom . Sign up for trial and then leave and it gives you it for 20 quid a month . We can have a little competition if you like , when your ready x x

    Love ya loads x A

    Like

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