When I started this blog I promised myself that to maintain my focus and offer regular content to my subscribers and readers I would post weekly. On a Sunday, in the early evening. Then I would reshare Monday and midweek.
I started with a cycle of writing several posts at the same time (at the time of writing this I have 7 posts in draft at varying stages of completion). This meant there would be less pressure on me to produce content.
On my phone I have a list of topics that I want to write about, I also have some notes against some of them. On wordpress I keep a number of posts that are titles with a few notes or bullet points under. For others I have more complete content.
Having said all of that you may have noticed that I haven’t posted anything for a while. I have broken my promise, broken my cycle, dropped out of that routine. But why?
You may have noticed I have published several posts on Mental Health.
It is a subject that is close to me for several reasons. I worked for a Mental Health NHS Trust for a while. A few my friends and acquaintances suffer from mental health issues. I regularly feel low and off track.
But also I see a lot of people struggling with Mental Health, I see a lot of campaigns, individuals and organisations that post about Mental Health and support people. It always feels right to share and input to these.
Importantly though we need to also be aware of and react to our own Mental State. Often, we live busy lives with lots going on around us. We react to and support others, we take on a lot at work and in life. Thoughts of ourselves get pushed to the back of our minds, symptoms ignored.
It is easy to deflect thoughts of ourselves when there are others that we can focus upon. Advice, support, guide, just be there. I often post on social media for us to think of others, be kind to others, small gestures that can make a big difference to others.
So I decided to apply the same thinking to myself. The last few months have been difficult for me. Life hasn’t been going to plan. In fact, life seriously hasn’t been sticking to the plan. Which has made for difficult times.
During this time it has been easy to pile the pressure onto myself. Highlight my continued lack of success in certain areas. The fact that there are major changes happening that I can’t control. Slowly seeing my sense of self-worth, self identity and concept of who I am.
For a while I kept writing my posts, and keeping on top of commitments, until I realised it was just adding to the pressure I was placing on myself.
So I decided to implement some self care and stop posting for a while. Those posts in drafts have still been updated, my list of future posts increases, the ideas and desire are still there.
It is important to speak out about when we feel low, to show that it is normal. Especially for men. It needs to be normalised that men have, and suffer with, mental health too.
Thank you for bearing with me, both on this post and my blog. I’ll be back to strength and churning out my thoughts regularly again soon.
Until then how are you feeling?
Pete Greensmith 